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Oct. 29th, 2007 @ 10:13 am (no subject)
so i feel like I should join the group of people that is updating lately. I usually don't follow trends but since I am procrastinating doing any work here goes nothing. at this moment I am at WEC as a receptionist. soon, as in Jan., I will be on my way to Senegal to teach special ed. i have been busy but just with things around here such as helping out with youth group, and hanging out at steph and tim's and just spending time with people at wec and from church. I did go on a whirlwind adventure in the end of september with my friend Laura. We traveled 2200 miles in one week. but it was good.
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Jan. 31st, 2007 @ 12:53 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: calm
so i just asked a question that has been on my mind for the past few months. do I really want to know the answer. we will see.
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Jan. 22nd, 2007 @ 05:09 pm It's a girl
Tracy had her baby...yeah!!!!
It is a girl names Hailey Crystal Axiak and she weighed 9 lbs and was 20 inches long. she is so adorable. I am now an auntie.
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Jan. 11th, 2007 @ 10:35 pm doomed
so if you want to doom your love life become a missionary. well not really but that is how I am feeling at the moment. I know I will probably find someone, someday. But I really wish someday was now.
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Dec. 31st, 2006 @ 09:01 am growing up
today I get to hear my dad preach for the first time. He has preached before I just have never been around.
My family is growing up.
Watch out world!
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Dec. 12th, 2006 @ 09:20 pm erika's class
so my friend Erika's pre-school class that she teaches is adopting me as their missionary. how cool is that.
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Nov. 5th, 2006 @ 10:53 am (no subject)
my life is not going as I would like. This is not all bad just annoying at times.
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Sep. 24th, 2006 @ 02:15 pm (no subject)
something is abpout to happen... I just know it.
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Sep. 17th, 2006 @ 09:13 pm blue skies smiling at me
there are alot of things bouncing around in my head. Please pray for East Timor. That country is in my heart so it breaks when it is going through troubles.

but besides that I have had a good weekend. I got to have some good talks with people. I just really need friends that I knew and were comfortable with. and i got that. I am so thankful for my friends.
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Sep. 1st, 2006 @ 08:10 pm (no subject)
so I have desided that I like to travel alot and I want to go to too many places. so I have desided to make alist of all the places I want to go...
Brail ( this would finish my goal of going to all livable continents)
Peru
California
India
Chiana (Especially the great wall)
Hong Kong
Singapore
Sydney
England
Alaska
Egypt
Gambia

I think that is it for now. but just give me more time.
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Aug. 7th, 2006 @ 11:22 am (no subject)
I want to go back to East Timor but I still want to be here. why is impossible to be two places at once. argggggggggg.
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Aug. 6th, 2006 @ 10:08 pm (no subject)
my family is addicted to 24. it is great.
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Aug. 6th, 2006 @ 05:32 pm not your normal journal
so I have been hesitant of posting this update on here. Mostly because it is going tomake me very vonerable which I am not usually. I think we all hide things and I udually do it because of my pride and I am afraid of people seeing me how I used to be. but here in one fact I amnot the same. I am also not the same as I was in March when I left. Part of me wishes I was the same as I was in my senior year of college. since then I see as the time that I have been most confident with myself and most comfortable with my environment. since then I have been beatten up alot and started to recover then get beatten up again. I have been struggling with finding who I am now. I still don't know. I also am frustrated that I am beaten down. I have been noticing possitive and negative changes in myself this week. Some of the negative things are I have become more self focused, I am scared of large crowds that I don't know, I am less out going, I am more clingy then I have been in awhile ( this one really bugs me). I hate being clingy mostly because I have been that way and chased away people I care about. but i guess I need just a place of familarity so I have clung to whatever that is. so on from the negative is the possitive. I have seen that in someway I have become stronger. I found that I can face death and uncertainity and come out of it. I have also found that I have the most awesome and supportive friends and family ever. I know that the possitive outweighs the negative. I also know that the wounds I have will heal. it just takes time ( which is throughly annoying).

But my strenght for it all comes not from myself.
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Aug. 4th, 2006 @ 09:40 am awesome quote
Current Mood: thoughtful
so when I was struggling about coming back to the U.S.A. I found this awesome quote in a book I was reading and I just wanted to share it. It is from the book " Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller. For context he is talking about how you can't put life into a list of steps to follow.
" The truth is there are millions of steps, and we don't even know what the steps are, and worse, at any givem moment we might not be willing or even able to take them; and still worse they are different for you and me and they are always changing. I have come to believe the sooner we find this truth beautiful, the sooner we will fall in love with the God who keeps shaking things up, keep changing the path, keeps rocking the boat to test our faith in Him, teaching us not to rely on easy answers, bullet points, magic mantras,or genies in lamps, but rather in His guidance, His existence, His mercy, and His love."

I read that quote and loved it becasue it is so true. right now I am in place of transistion along with some of my friends. It is hard realizing that you are an adult sometimes. It is also hard sometimes trusting God in what He is doing but He does not disappoint and will be with us in whatever chagnes come both good and bad. I did not know why I should come home but slowly I am seeing God's plans. It is just taking some time to see it.
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Aug. 2nd, 2006 @ 10:38 am my life as it is
Current Location: my house
Current Mood: cheerful
last week was great. debriefing was awesome. I was really encouraged and blessed by so many people and I got to tell stories about East Timor before all the craziness which was great. and everyone could undertand and I did not feel like I stuck out I just fit in. it was great. Then the weekend was awesome. I got to sepnd time with Stephanie, Tabitha ( who I have not seen in tow years), Tim, Laura ( and finally meet Justin), and got to meet alot of other cool people. I got to see Tim preach which was good. God has some big plans for that boy I am sure. The whole weekend I felt like I just fit in. that I was not weird or unique but I was just me and I was fine with it. everyone got along well and I had some really good talks with people. and just to top it off one person trying to set me up. but so far life is not too bad. another good thing in my life is that my neighbors are gone and they said that we could use their pool when ever we wanted. how cool is that.
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Jul. 27th, 2006 @ 08:51 am I am away
so right now I am at debriefing from my adventure in East Timor. I am finding that I have some culture shock to deal with along with some restoration that needs to be done. I hate having to do this again. but I do have some happy news. it looks like I will be in Fort Washington for a few more months than expected. I will be helping out with children here from sept-dec. This is good for many reasons. another highlight coming up is being able to see Stephanie, Tim, and Tabitha. it will be great I think.
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Jul. 21st, 2006 @ 09:22 pm (no subject)
It is finished.
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Jul. 20th, 2006 @ 05:23 pm (no subject)
I am a hypocrite.

Saying this brings me back to the only thing that I can cling to which is God and His grace and love. not because of anything I have done but because of who He is and His love for me.
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Jul. 20th, 2006 @ 12:59 pm running away
Current Location: home
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: jars of clay " love song for a savior"
i feel like lately I am in this bubble of selfishness. God please pop it and give me the strength to do what I need to do. I hate feeling selfish. But I have hit a rut since I have come home and I hate it. argggggggg. who knows what will happen with the future and where I will go and what I will do. Some decisions that seemed clear cut earlier are now getting alittle blurry. so I have basically written alot of vague things. but I guess that is sort of where my life is right now, vague.
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Jul. 17th, 2006 @ 10:29 pm (no subject)
I feel viod and just floating around but I am home.
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